Birthday party; new car

The birthday party went well. Many types of people gathered in the yard with their dogs or kids or peers and consumed the food, consumed the keg beer, consumed the handle of Bushmills that Tony brought. At one point two dudes agreed that they were too drunk to play guitar together, and they put the two guitars they were holding safely back into their cases, which I think is barometric proof that your party has gotten to the perfect place. At the end of the party I looked among the spoils and saw that I had been given a bottle of fancy vodka, a cookbook, and a Home Depot gift certificate, among other things. There, now you know what kind of man I am.

It was time, after that, to get a new car, so we went and talked to a nice Italian boy who sold us a good car. I would say what kind and color it is, but there is a good chance at this point that since the car is so distinctive, I would be out in the driveway washing it off, and a person (you?) would wander up and ask me if I am the "guy that does Achewood." I know you might think I sound paranoid but most people who like comics also like to Google you pretty hard and see if they can find your high school track photos to cry over while they use NIN cds to mock-slit their wrists.