Thank you everybody
It was nice to see that someone had stolen the bacon, hash browns, eggs, beans, bread, and tomato from the fridge this morning. All that was left of my ingredients was "blood pudding," which is this iron-flavored sausage made out of congealed pig's blood and starch. It tastes like if you pulled your cuticle back so far that it bled and you sucked on that. It was the only part of the meal I was planning on actually omitting; I had only bought it because I was feeling like I should go all the way with this "full English breakfast" thing. (I also bought some bogus canned drink called a "Shandy" which tasted like lemonade with an armpit in it.)
Anyhow, I fried the single black sausage up in a pan, and the room smelled like I was sautéing fresh scabs. I put it on a plate when it was done, but I ended up throwing both the plate and the sausage away, and went into town for some Quizno's while the house aired out.
Again, thank you everybody, for ruining what was going to be one of my increasingly rare nice homemade meals. Thank you; thanks.