I was lounging around on the bed earlier, reading a couple different books and magazines (Dave Barry, Basque History of the World, latest Gourmet) when I fell into a very sound sleep. I was abruptly awakened when someone started banging on the door and ringing the doorbell. Things being what they are with Téodor, my heart nearly exploded. Looking through the peephole I could see that it wasn't him, so I opened it up and this crummy guy immediately started barreling me over asking if I wanted to buy meat "out of his truck." I tried to tell him that I was a vegetarian but he wasn't having any of it, and kept charging ahead. Soon I had to just talk over him and go, "Listen, I don't eat meat OUT OF A TRUCK." Last I saw of him before the door closed he was still talking, saying something like "If you don't want to buy, is it because my prices are so low or because my quality is so high?" I looked out the window to make sure he didn't steal any hood ornaments as he left.
I wanted to get a "no solicitors" sign for the front door when I was at Home Depot last summer, but they didn't have any tasteful ones.